Tarmac burns on this
broken road.
Stones and glass slice,
my mood will shift -
on the roll of a dice.
I was a little girl with
daisy-daydreams…
He loves me, He loves me not.
Now lies become the truth,
and a single smile -
can mean a lot.
Hello there, I'm Rachael.
For me the act of writing poetry is so many things. It's confessional, diary-keeping, hopeless speculation, problem solving, story-telling, therapy, anger management and relaxation all rolled into one convenient (and free) package. Almost everything I write is from personal experience. And because of the anonymous nature of a blog, I feel comfortable sharing things I wouldn't dream telling anyone in my everyday life. I suppose it's my outlet, my own little secret endeavour that keeps me sane and is entirely mine. I make no promises of producing 'quality' pieces of worthwhile literature. My main objective is to be honest, and hopefully you'll be able to find something you can to relate to in this jumble of words.
Thanks for visiting. Ask me questions.
Tarmac burns on this
broken road.
Stones and glass slice,
my mood will shift -
on the roll of a dice.
I was a little girl with
daisy-daydreams…
He loves me, He loves me not.
Now lies become the truth,
and a single smile -
can mean a lot.
My pen feels like a stranger,
and you, a clear and present danger.
We run on fumes,
on resentment we fear to lose.
Because then we would have to be friends,
and act of social cues.
Just like everyone else.
It is rich, this resentment,
that will ooze.
Greasy and sickly to the touch.
Everyday, in your presence
is a new disaster.
A car crash on loop,
always moving faster.
I’m tired of this -
my accelerated anger.
Yet I never put my foot on the brake.
Because when this is all over,
what will remain when I wake?
In the winter, he became a wolf. One without fangs, or a coat of fur - just a living hunger, a look of the feral about him. He had been deprived of red meat for too long and stalked the streets on the glass trodden edges of his paws; kicking beer bottles every chance he got - just to watch them explode. You could see his rib cage, poking out. He is the deadliest creature in this concrete jungle, for his madness knows no bounds. He. Will. Not. Listen. To. Reason. Even though every Little girl in a Red Hood thinks she will be able to change him…to make him better. That spittle of starvation collecting in the corners of his mouth, is self-inflicted. There is nothing he likes more than the hunt, and its no fun if the hunter isn’t gagging for it.
And when he speaks…it is a howl. An aria of fear made audible. The wavelength will surge through each knuckled bone in your back and make a cracking noise in your head.
He loves alone, and not at all.He has a chip on his shoulder, where a tattoo whispers: ‘Stephanie’ once inked into his pores. That skin is ripped now, with his taloned paws…and lies on the pavement… leaking his blood, and wafting a scent to all us females: ‘Come save this Lost Cub, this Huntsman in Disguise.’
He is a starving wolf, and those delicate fingers tangled in his hair, are sausages.
I exist, within the fault lines of his thoughts.
I hop, from one shadow to the next,
playing hop-scotch with his heart.
On sunny days like these,
he takes an ice-pick to my hard edges,
and grips, grasps and grapples for dear life.
A solar eclipse collapses into view,
and whether it is cold, dark, or whether we
are dancing on the surface of the sun,
turning our feet to soot -
nothing seems to be important.
Not in the face of such desperation.
He smelt of summer,
the pollen in the air,
got under his nails.
I followed him,
buzzing around his
atmosphere
like a bee to a flower.
Attraction, made my nostrils
widening at the smell of
his cut grass smile.
I sunbathed in his embrace,
like a lazy child
waking up to birdsong.
Love doesn’t shatter.
Two people going separate ways
is a collision.
The time between them,
is the crumple zone.
The head lights crack with
loneliness,
and the bumper that protects their
hearts?
Splits in two.
Oil leaks in black tears,
and glass litters the pavement
like words unsaid.
Smoke billows,
on that final goodbye.
And sirens call out,
when he turns his back on you.
He will cough,
when I would kiss.
He will ebb,
when I would miss.
He will purr,
when I would hiss.
He is cross,
and I am nought.
Nothing,
will change this.
Some dreams…
They shatter like
tea cups falling
from a china tree.
Others, feel like an
empty stomach…
that is clenching
onto some hope that
it will be made whole.
Some dreams, when
broken, feel like a
grinding numbness
in your brain, for why
did you ever dream to hope?
And with how much heart
ache, can one girl cope?
Never lose your gentle blues.
For they suit the frothy
sea green of your eyes.
Never groan, when the sun slips
its calling card under your door.
Beckoning you to play hide and seek,
in broad daylight.
Just embrace the loves you have.
Enjoy them, while you are able.
But most importantly,
Never lose your gentle blues.
You possess shades only comparable
to the ocean.
In the depths,
out of reach of whirlpools and tidal waves,
right at the very bottom of the sea bed.
Is where you will find your humanity.
He plucked her,
like a polished pebble
from a bubbling river.
Stroked her forehead,
as if she were the
feather of some wild
thing.
Blinking in amazement
that he could tame such
as she.
In his palm,
he held a tiny sun.
A girl, who only wanted
to fit his fingers perfectly
to mesh into his life,
like the seamless current
of the water.
She wished, harder than she
had ever hoped -
to escape the serpents
that swim the river -
The very one he plucked her from.
And exist in the sunlight,
where murky weeds don’t obscure
where her hands finish, and his
begin.
That is what they are for.
Without, they become deprived.
Withered and burnt, cracking on
sandpaper tongues that don’t
belong there.
Yet, they can be revived,
become pump with anticipation,
and pink with gratitude.
Lips are made for kissing,
but only yours can heal.
They say good love,
is hard to find.
Always out of reach,
out of luck, out of mind.
I found it right under
my up-turned nose.
In the smell of crumpled,
tossed aside clothes.
In the midnight hour,
when time simply froze.
They say good love,
is hard to find.
But as it turns out,
I was foolish, lost and blind.
To a man of dignity,
strong, honest and kind.
Trapped in the friends zone,
unrequited hearts,
left well alone.
Its like a hold, a grip on my throat. When I see you, walking about your everyday life. When I spot you hauling a laundry basket, or see a flash of blue in the rear view mirror…the grasp loosens. I can breath again, yet you’re gone too soon. Finger by finger the grip creeps up my throat and throttles me with your absence.
Your love is a sweet constriction. It strangles me in blissful kisses, and whispered promises. Never have I been at someone’s mercy so completely, never, has life and emotion been tethered to a flick of a wrist, or a squeeze of a weather beaten thumb.